So I am writing this post mainly for myself so that I can look back one day and realize that I was able to overcome such a big trial. But I also write to tell my friends and family how much I love them for all of their support and love. As many of you know we have to do Invitro to get pregnant. We have been preparing to do it again for the last year and were so excited to get going on it. Everything felt so right. So many answers to our prayers were that it would work and we didn't need to worry about it. But as we started things up and started to go in for appointments we found out that we had 1 egg that was mature enough. Just one????? How on earth could that be right? Last time I had 19, there must have been a mistake. As they loaded me up with even more shots, we prayed and prayed and felt so strongly there would be more. Once again, just the one. Now was the choice to decide if we go ahead with the cycle or cancel. Once again, we felt so strongly it would work, that it was right and we would be blessed. After surgery they told us they got the one but it was mature. We had all the hope in the world only to find out the next day that it never made it to fertilization due to some problems from the doctor trying to retrieve it. We were devastated, hurt, mad, and mainly struggled to have any faith. But how can you NOT have faith and KNOW that God does exist when you look at this adorable face?
I do know that he exists and as I look at the title of my post I think, yes it did fail but it is one step closer to my miracle happening. I know that it will eventually work but it doesn't make it any easier. And it just plain sucks right now. I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have prayed for us, called, brought over meals, flowers, cards. I really never wanted anyone to know what was going on but I figure it is nice to have so much love and support during such a difficult time. So THANK YOU again you will never know just how much it meant to me to have your support. And thank you for letting me share a little part of our life with you.
We received all of these flowers within 24 hours. It has definitely brightened my day. I told Jake maybe we should have trials more often :)
14 comments:
Julie I didn't know you were dealing with all that! I will tell Brian he is a rotten home teacher. I'm sorry. I have a sister-in-law dealing with similar issues and my heart aches for them and for you. It sounds like you need a pile of chocolate to go along with those flowers.
Sorry to hear you are struggling. Keep that hope and it will happen soon. Thinking of you!
I am so sorry Julie. You are such an awesome person. I know it will happen soon. You are the best mom and have kids waiting to come to you.
Julie,
Once again, so sorry for your loss. You are in our prayers!
Angee :)
So sorry for your struggle, that must be so painful. Aside from all those hormones floating around. Bleh! Look at the miracle that took place. You wrote that you realized how blessed you are. Look at the sweetie you have and are holding a bit tighter. You are your hubby are closer in your sorrow and are amazingly filled with hope and energy to try again or do whatever is right for you. I can see you are blessed. Thank you for sharing such a personal thing with us.
I'm so sorry, Julie. I didn't know you were going through all of that. Please let me know if there is anything we can do for you.
Julie-We love you and Jake so much. You mean the world to us. I know that you are going through a rough patch but this too shall pass. I pray for nothing but the best for both of you. I wish we lived closer so that we could get together more often. Also so that I could just give you a giant hug right now. If there is anything we can do please be sure to let me know.
I meant to comment when I read this the other day, but I just wanted to tell you thank you for sharing such a personal experience. Your so brave to share this and just let everybody know that we all have struggles, but the Lord is looking out for us and has his own (even better) plans for us. Thank you for reminding me of that. :)
I love you Julie! I'm so sorry you guys have to go through this, but it will strengthen your faith. We'll have to plan another get together when you feel up to it.
Goodness, I am so sorry to hear about your loss Julie. You really are amazing. Hug your adorable little miracle and we'll keep you in our prayers!
Oh Julie, I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles and trials. I didn't know. :( God works in mysterious ways, some of which we don't understand during this lifetime. You are in my thoughts!
I'm so sorry to hear about your issues with getting pregnant again. I feel like I can totally empathize with you. I don't know if I could be as strong or as honest as you are and I totally admire you for it. Thanks for this post, it has helped me in my own struggle and I appreciate it. Love you!
Julie-
I am soooo sorry I had no idea this was going on. Please let me know if their is anything i can do to help. I am so blessed to have you in my life, You are such a inspiration to me, you have brought me hope when I am dealing with my own trials.
Love always
Kenzie!
I HAD NO IDEA! Thanks for sharing, and hang in there! I'm sure the Lord has many great things in store for you guys!!
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